Connection; jomo


Joy Of Missing Out.

Warning: our minds are a bit all over the show today…so there’s a bit of disconnect here…but it’s all perfectly imperfect, yes?!

Distraction is a big topic for us at present. Because we really strongly feel that the world is purposefully being pulled into this cycle that sustains a rhythm of the disease of more. We need more houses, money, lovers, cars; just more and more and more. (we all need more lovers, of course ;) )

And what’s our problem with that? Nothing if it bought more connection and more happiness.

But, actually all this acquiring and hoarding, seems to us to only be creating huge lack.

Some could say that the sense of lack is a result of our interconnectedness; that our consumption of ‘more’ destroys the planet, and that we unconsciously feel that destruction as a disconnect. And this sense of lack means that people seek ‘more’ to fill the space.

Others would say that the distraction pulls us (or uproots us) from our truth. In striving to achieve more, we can’t be present. And so we forget who we are, what sustains us and what is important to feel abundance.

We all know people who appear to own lots of material goods, or who have a successful job and seem to attract ‘more’, yet they are deeply unhappy and feel huge disconnect from themselves and all those around them. Material gain will never ever bring us soul fulfilment.

It’s obvious to anyone who has travelled to poorer countries. We aren’t suggesting that people who are sleeping rough are happy; having been bought up in London, we know that sleeping rough isn’t a source of joy; it’s a struggle and it’s totally unacceptable that people should be living without homes in the capital of the richest city in the world. We all have a part to play in ignoring that. But, what we are saying is that in countries like India, where poverty is extreme, the people know the joys of connection and they remember the ways that are linked to the natural rhythms of the world. Oftentimes our own personal interactions with such people has been that they understand the spirituality of being human more than most who live in far richer ways.

We take it completely for granted that we flick a switch and light pours into a room, or that a twist of a tap will bring water. These things are gifts. But give them to someone regularly, and we will quickly forget their magic. Just like anything; love, money, material gains, security, family; all things become a ‘given’ when we are gifted them on a regular basis. Until they are taken away.

The disease of more has caused many sources of lack; none more so than comparison. More ‘social media’ connection leads to more comparison, and a huge sense of ‘I am not enough’ on all levels. Secondly, though is this phenomena of FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out.

To say ‘no’ can often mean saying ‘yes’ on another level.

Yet, how many of us say yes to something that really doesn’t feel right? Sometimes out of fear of missing out, sometimes out of offending another. There’s so many reasons. You’re feeing exhausted and anxious, but you get an invite to a friend’s party and you say ‘yes’ anyway for fear of offending someone, or in case you miss out on seeing someone. Oftentimes, you go to the party and don’t see anyone you know and have a really dull time anyway.

But the Joy Of Missing Out is a new phenomena that we encourage you to try. It means flipping your perspective. Yes, you could be at the party with all your friends and maybe you’ll feel a little less exhausted. But if you don’t go, there’s joy in that too. You get some downtime, some space, a chance to dive back into the centre and then craft your life the next day with some consciousness.

For us, the trick is a whole body listening. The art of yoga isn’t done in vain; it’s the art of reassembling all the parts, over and over. It’s a chance to keep diving deeper and listening in to the acutest sounds. It’s about shifting the edges and playing curiously into all the possibilities; an undoing and a re-weaving of all you hold true. It’s about leaning into the discomfort and being okay with what is there.

Really, it’s a constant practice of awakening and remembering. It’s like journeying to your home every day, but finding new directions and new things along the way every single time. Imagine if you could notice everything differently every day. Seeing the old ways, but with a completely fresh perspective every time.

JOMO is a method of getting your life back. Let’s not ‘should’ on ourselves all the time. Because that is not yogic; it’s not honest or authentic.

Embracing the things we don’t really want to brings a sense of heaviness. And that is the opposite of lightness of being; which is the state we seek to attain; emptiness, being and acceptance.

JOMO is an art that we believe is yogic; it’s the art of speaking your truth. Of saying ‘no’ when you want to, regardless of the pressures to say otherwise.

And the best way to embrace JOMO?

  • Restrict your time on social media; you are not missing out in not knowing what your idols are eating for breakfast, or wearing, or doing today! Forget it! Here’s an idea; do you instead. If you really can’t bear the thought of whole days avoiding FB, IG and whatever else you have going on that supposedly ‘connects’ you to others, then install an app manager. We have ones that limit the times we access certain apps, aswell as limiting the overall time we spend on them. You choose how to manage them, but we would recommend you bar YouTube, IG, FB and Twitter at least from 6pm onwards and limit your use on all of them to 30 minutes a day (together!). We ban all news sites access too. And you know we don’t watch TV at all (but we do watch the odd movie; maybe one a month and have been know to indulge in a little series every now and then).

  • Restrict your time watching TV; this one was a life changer for us. Seriously, if you have the TV on in the background constantly, there is an issue there. You need to invite some JOMO in and lose the distraction. We aren’t ashamed to admit that we didn’t know the Prime Minister had given up her role until last week when someone mentioned it. That sentence will cause a lot of controversy; but here’s the thing; we both vote and we both care about things like environmental policy, and caring for the poor and educating children. But these topics are draining. Together, we can make a difference. And we think it’s important that you are educated on subjects and become activists for positive change. But our lives didn’t change in the past week (or whenever it was) since she resigned. Thats just the truth. Politics aren’t going to change overnight, just because we are keeping up-to-date with current affairs. We find news to be negative; and stressful. It’s an energy vampire. So we avoid it. I could lie and tell you that I’m clued up on Government right now; but that would not be yogic. And my choice to avoid knowing about it is a source of JOMO to me. But you choose your medicine, so know you don’t have to give it up entirely. Just restrict it. It will help JOMO.

  • Say ‘no’ when you want to. With kindness and speak your truth.

  • Don’t read newspapers; they are a form of conditioning. Spend your well-earned money on books instead, or buy ‘Positive News’.

  • Don’t buy into the theory that ‘more is more’. JOMO involves upcycling, recycling, restoring. There is so much joy in not being part of the herd, and simply following the leader. It’s much nicer to reject the common theories about what we should wear, eat, do and learn. Embrace the extraordinary and listen to what lights you up instead.

  • Do not live with regrets on what you didn’t do. Let all that stuff go. However you need to; you might need to journal, dance or cry it out.

FOMO is a result of mind manipulation and usually from the inner critic. JOMO is more a result of an inner instinct.